Adventures of Smith and Farren
by staticrhubarb
Summary: OK this will turn out to be a humor fic! Inspired by a crazy friend and an MSN conversation. Please take a cookie out of my TARDIS cookie jar, sit back, relax, read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Or MSN messenger. Although I do own a nice TARDIS cookie jar. Hehe. Smith and Farren are my own creation; PLEASE DO NOT STEAL. They may be used with permission.**

**A/N: OK – this story came to me after a...strange MSN conversation I had with a close friend. Also, this is my first Doctor Who fic, so be gentle. 9th Doctor and Rose. **

Kati Smith and Emily Farren weren't entirely sure what they were doing floating through the dark midst of space, but at that particular point in time, they didn't really care.

No - they were understandably more worried about the huge blue box that was hurtling towards them at 70 miles an hour.

They hugged each other close, convinced they were about to meet their doom, when suddenly...

"Hello!" came a voice.

Farren dared to open one eye. Floating in front of her was a large blue box. But this was not the most unusual thing about the situation. A tall, fairly handsome (by her standards) man was standing just inside the box, grinning from ear to ear.

Before Smithy and Farren had time to think, they were being pulled aboard the giant blue box by the grinning man.

A young blonde girl came over to the group. "Hi, I'm Rose," she said. "I'm his companion. We travel through time and space..."

"Rose!" the Doctor interrupted her. "Don't tell them everything. I need to know whether they can be trusted," he muttered in a low voice. He turned to them, smile once again hooked onto his face.

"Where did you two appear from then?" he questioned them. "And don't say your improbability drive malfunctioned, I get that all the time. It gets boring."

"Well, to be honest," Smithy started, "We don't really know. One minute we're chatting to each other over MSN, the next we're floating around in deep space. If it wasn't for Farren remembering that thing from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, we'd probably be dead right now."

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says that if you hold a lungful of air you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about thirty seconds. However it goes on to say that what with space being the mind boggling size it is the chances of getting picked up by another ship within those thirty seconds are two to the power of two hundred and sixty-seven thousand seven hundred and nine to one against._

The blonde girl called Rose walked over to the group, and invited Smith and Farren to stay aboard the ship, which she explained was called the TARDIS.

"And I'm the Doctor, by the way," said the tall, handsome man. Smith and Farren both just drooled all over the nice clean TARDIS floor.

"So," the Doctor began. "Where do you want to go? This thing can take you anywhere, anywhen you'd like."

After a quick exchange of looks, Smith and Farren eagerly said spookily at the same time: "We want to see the End of the World!"

**Ah, OK, the first chapter is not that funny. But have faith – it gets better! **

**So…take a cookie out of the TARDIS cookie jar, read and review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. If I did, Chris Eccleston and David Tennant would both be MINE! **

**A/N: I think that this chapter is much funnier. Maybe I'm just strange o0. **

The Doctor grinned widely at the pair. Rose sighed; not again...But the Doctor ignored her and headed over to the controls of the TARDIS.

He gestured to a large, red button and said, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Farren immediately headed over to where the Doctor was standing, all ready to press the button and go to see the End of the World! Except for the fact that she was being held back by Smithy.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Farren asked. "I thought you wanted us to go and see the End of the World?

"B...b...but it's a big, threatening button!" Smithy protested. "You know what ALWAYS happens when you press big, threatening buttons in spaceships on TV! You're never, EVER supposed to press them. "

"Well, this button is just crying out to be pressed," Farren said breezily, and she broke free of her friends grasp and pushed the button. Immediately, the ground below them began to shake and the travellers all heard the whirring noise of the TARDIS engines.

Smithy shot a "see what you did?" look at Farren, who merely stuck her tongue out at her, before they were both thrown to the floor with an almighty force.

When the shaking finally stopped, the Doctor offered a hand to the pair to help them up. It was at this point that Smithy promptly fainted. Farren took the Doctor's hand gratefully, giggling at Smithy.

Rose, sighing, picked up Smithy, took her to the medi-bay and splashed her face with water until she woke up. Smithy shot her an evil look, which Rose thankfully didn't notice.

"So, are you ready to see the End of the World?" The Doctor asked. "Yeah!" Smith and Farren cheered, so the Doctor opened the door and let them loose.

As soon as they set foot outside, they were greeted by a strange blue man. Smith and Farren immediately started laughing at him, receiving a glare from him and Rose. The Doctor, however, just grinned.

Struck with an idea suddenly, Farren pulled out a camera from her jacket pocket and took a picture of the increasingly incredulous blue man. Both Smithy and Farren laughed insanely at it when it developed. Curious, the Doctor leaned over her shoulder to look at the picture too. He chuckled and flashed it at Rose, who looked rather jealous.

Ignoring her, the Doctor put his arms around both Smith and Farren's shoulders, and followed the blue man down the corridor. Rose simply stalked behind looking disgusted.

Farren glanced over her shoulder and, seeing Rose, started to feel a bit guilty. So she hung back and started to talk to her. Smithy was oblivious, clearly having the time of her life with the doctor. Slyly, she started to slip her arm around the Doctor's waist. The Doctor shot her a startled glance and pulled away, slightly uncomfortable now. So Smithy just gave up and walked beside him, a little disappointed.

Rose and Farren were still nattering about things: about how Rose met the Doctor, and their adventures through time. Farren listened in awe, occasionally making jokes and cackling at the hilariously funny ones.

Smithy turned around and noticed Farren talking to Rose. She threw her an evil look, but again Farren simply stuck her tongue out at her and got back to talking. To this, Smithy made a very rude gesture with two of her fingers and started crying.

The group were still walking down the massively long corridor, and after a while began to wonder if the blue man actually knew where he was going. There were windows all along the corridor, through which you could see the Earth.

When they finally turned a corner, the group were faced with 3 doors. Smith and Farren started to feel uneasy – groups of doors were NEVER good.

Still, the Doctor, confident as ever, led them confidently through the left-hand door. Shrugging, Smith, Farren and Rose followed him.

It was pitch black inside, but Farren quickly found a light switch. A dim glow filled the room…

"EXTERMINATE!"

**Well…what could it be? Hopefully you found this chapter funnier. The next one (IMO) is even better than this one, so please review! I'll probably update pretty soon, but reviews make it even quicker!**


End file.
